Baby Akatsuki
by deadbyfriday
Summary: All of a sudden Sasori discovers that all of the other member of Akatsuki are babies. Why? When? How? Are the questions that runs through his head while he takes care of them. And of course why me.


**Hi this is my first fanfic ever and just want you to know that I have dyslexia and I'm from Sweden. So have mercy on my grammar and spelling. I really hope you enjoy it and I'll hope to make more fanfics.**

 **Note: I don't own Naruto or Akatsuki (but I wish I did)**

Sasori was sitting in his room and fixing the last details on a new puppet. The only thing that was left was the poison. He reached for the bottles on his left with his puppet arm and took the first bottle his hand touched. But when he noticed it was empty he reached for another one. When he saw that the second bottle was empty too he turned and looked at all of his poison bottles that were in a shelf right beside his desk. "Don't tell me I'm all out of poison?" He asked himself.

When he noticed that all of the bottles were empty he just glared at the shelf and cursed himself for not have paid enough attention to the bottles containment. Now he had to make more poison and he didn't even have the right plants to do it. What a pain.

His thought went to Zetsu's garden. Wonder what kind of plants he had there? Maybe some to make a whole new poison. What time was it? There was no watch in his room but since it was so quiet he guessed it was late, maybe night even. Everyone was probably asleep. Since he didn't need sleep he lost track of time when he was in his room. He got up from his chair and exited his room. The corridor was dead silens and dark. He passed the rooms of Deidara, Kisame and Itachi before he got to the door that led to Zetsu's garden, but before he opened the door he stopped. What if Zetsu would be mad at him for taking some of his plats. Zetsu was quite a mystery for Sasori and he did not know what to expect if he pissed him off. But then again, if Zetsu were to be pissed he could alway tell him that Deidara took the flowers for his explosive clay. He opened the door and entered Zetsus garden.

It was dark in there but he could se a path and some of the flowers that made everything look like a jungle. He then rolled back his eyes to give place for his night-eyes. Now he saw everything as clear as day. He started to look around first to se if there were any flowers to make a poison out of at all.

He had never seen flowers like this before. Some of them were taller than him, or even Kisame. He stood under one that looked like a red bluebell. This one was probably tallen than Kisame. On his way from the gigantic flower he fell on some roots and hit his head on the floor. But he got up quickly and looked around him. There were roots all over the path so he had to look where he'd put his feet.

They had all kind of colors and shapes. He didn't know if they would eat him if he poked it or if it would do nothing. He didn't find any flowers to make poison of, or if there were flowers that could make a better poison than his own he wouldn't know. It was time for him to get out before some of the flowers decided to eat him. As he turned to leave he saw a flower that was light turquoise and had large flower petals. It caught his interest and made him look a little bit closer. It looked like a lily with wider flower petals. It was a strange but a beautiful flower. But beautiful often ment dangerous so he left it immediately.

Now where the hell is the exit? Dam. Don't tell him he got lost. How embarrassing. He turned around and looked for flowers that looked familiar. The red bluebell caught his eye and he went to it. Now where the hell was the exit? He hardly saw the door hidden behind all that leaves and branches. He rushed out and closed the door behind him. "Never again. I will never go into that room again. Thou it would be a perfect way to get rid of Deidara."

As he looked around him he saw that it was morning. How long had he been in there? He switched to his normal eyes and saw that it was more like the beginning of the dawn. So he went back to his room. Before he could get back to his puppet a sound made him freeze in mid movement. "What the hell? Was that a babies cry?"

He went out in the corridor and heard the cry come from Deidara's room. Out of curiosity he slowly went and opened the door of his partners room. At first he saw nothing but an empty room, then he saw something small at the bed. Slowly he walked to the bed and pulled back the cover. Laying there was a baby with blond hair. It wasn't until he saw the small mouths at the babies hands that he walked out of the room. "Nope." He said to himself and closed the door to his room. "Nope."

But the child's cry wouldn't stop. It continued and Sasori could swear that it had goten louder. When a second child started crying he ran out of the room and into his partner's. He lifted up baby Deidara to make him stop crying so he could locate the other child. Baby Deidara started sucking on his coat and drooling all over it. With a disgusted face he went to search for the other child.

He opened the door to Konans room and saw a little baby Konan crying in front of the door. She was a little bit older than Deidara. While she must be at the age of 1, he was a few months. At first he just stared at Konan until she looked up on him and stopped crying. "Please tell me this isn't happening." He walked though the corridor. "Please tell me this isn't happening."

He opened the door to Kisame and saw a two year old Kisame sleeping in his bed. "Crap." He opened Itachi's door and saw Itachi as a 1 year old holding a book in his hands and looking up at Sasori. "Crap!" With baby Deidara laying on his arm he went and looked in the others rooms. Kakuzu was sitting on the floor and sorted some money on the floor. He was around 3 years old.

"Oi, when is the food reddy? I'm starving." He heard as he stood in the corridor.

Next to the door to Hidan's room stood a 1 years old Hidan.

"I'm hungry too." He heard to his left.

Konan stood there with another kid next to her. He had never seen him before in his time in the Akatsuki. His hair was red and long for being a baby. Was that Tobi's real face?

"Sasori!" He heard a child scream as he saw a one year old with Tobi's mask run towards him.

Apparently the red haired wasn't Tobi. Then who the hell was he?

"I asked you a question. When will you make food." Baby Hidan got his attention.

A brat as adult and a brat as a baby as well. Sasori wasn't surprised.

Baby Tobi grabbed around his leg when he reached him. "Tobi is scared, Sasori."

Sasori stod there still trying to understand that this was happening. This couldn't be real. When the hell did all of the Akatsuki turn into babies? Maybe it was a genjustju. He made the handsign to release a genjutsu and said. "Release." But when nothing happened he closed his eyes. "Release!"

"I'm starving. Make me breakfast."

"Release!"

He couldn't break his finger to be free from the genjutsu because he didn't feel pain, nor could he count on that someone from the outside would help him. "Release!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The screaming made Sasori opened his eyes to see baby Kisame running down the corridor to see baby Zetsu running after him.

That was the last straw. Sasori left the babies in the corridor and exited the hideout. He walked in the forest and not looking back. Nope. He said to himself. Nope. This isn't happening. This just isn't happening. "This can't be real. There is no way this can be real."

"What can't be real Sasori?"

Sasori froze and looked down at baby Tobi stil clinging to his leg. At the same time he realized he was still holding baby Deidare as well. If he had a spine a chill would go threw it. This was really happening. The Akatsuki were babies and he were not. Fantastic (sarcasm).

"Why did Sasori leave the others?"

Sasori didn't answer, he just turned around and went back.

The first thing he did was go to the living room. Dumping Deidara on the couch and forcing Tobi to let go of his leg. Then he went back to the corridor where baby Hidan, Konan and that other kid were still standing. He took Hidan under his arm, kicking and complaining. Konan and the other kid he led to the living room by holding there hands. Then he went back to pick upp Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu and Zetsu.

He didn't find Itachi at his room so he picked up Kakuzu and went to look for Kisame and Zetsu. He found them in the kitchen where Kisame stod on a kitchen-chair to get away from Zetsu who was now biting the chair's leg to get to Kisame. Itachi was siting on another kitchen chair with a book in his lap. With a grumpy Kakuzu under his arm he picked up Zetsu. The dark green thing he always had around him was now more like a dark green collar. "You." He said to Kisame. "jump down from the chair and you" He looked at Itachi. "Put away that book. Both of you. Follow me."

As he got back to the living room he noticed that Hidan was gone. "For the love of-" He went to look for him with Kakuzu and Zetsu still under his arms. He looked back to Itachi and Kisame. "Stay there."

"That idiot is probably looking for food." He heard Kakuzu mumble to himself.

"But we were already at the kitchen." White Zetsu said. " **He could have gone the other way. Which explains why we missed him**." Black Zetsu said

"Could you do me a little favor." Sasori said to Zetsu. "Could you not eat Kisame or anyone for that matter."

"But… **we are hungry**."

Sasori sighed. "I'll bring some food to everyone then."

He found Hidan standing on a chair trying to reach a bowl of fruit. "There you are you little brat." He putted Kakuzu down so he could lift Hidan down to the floor.

"Oi, I'm hungry you bitch."

"If you go back to the living room I will soon bring food for everyone. But if you stay you won't get a single bite."

Hidan hurried back to the living room and Kakuzu just walked slowly away back to his room.

"The same goes for you Kakuzu. If you don't return to the living room you won't get any food and I will take all of your money."

Kakuzu mumbled something under his mask and went to the living room.

Sasori brought the bowl of fruit, a box of serial and some milk.

Hidan tried to take of Tobi's mask while Tobi yelled at him to stop. Konan, the red haired and Kisame talked to each other. Kakuzu was looking in the furnitures, probably looking for money. Itachi was just staring at nothing and Deidara was still laying on his back on the couch.

"Alright everybody. I have brought you breakfast. After breakfast we have to sort things out."

"Finally!" Hidan let go of Tobi's mask which made it smack back to his face and made him fall to the floor.

"Outch."

Sasori sat down on the flor and gave everyone a fruit and a handfull of serial.

"Oi, how are we suppose to eat the serial without milk."

"You will eat them as they are and that's it."

"Sasori…" Konan said. "I'm thirsty."

Sasori handed her the milk and she drank. Hidan took it from her and made her spill on the floor.

"Seriously." Savor complained.

"I was thirsty." Hidan said and started drinking.

Sasori didn't bother to lecture him and just went to wipe it up.

"Okay. Everyone have eaten?" He asked and looked around.

"You forgot Deidara." Said Itachi and pointed at the baby that still were laying on the couch.

Sasori sighed. "Now how do you feed a toddler?" He asked himself while he went to get him. "Can someone mash a banana?" He picked Deidara up and went back to the circle of children.

"Okay." He said as se sat down. "Let's get some things sorted out. "He looked at the red haired child. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Nagato."

"Right…" That didn't make him any wiser. "Douse anyone know why you are babies?"

Everyone shook there heads. Great. He sighed. "What do you know and remember of this place and me?"

"Your name is Sasori of the Red Sand, you are a puppet and a puppeteer, you are a member of the Akatsuki which we all are. I'm Kisame Hoshigaki, also known as the tailless beast, my partner is Itachi Uchiha." Kisame said whit a smile on his face.

"Douse everyone know that?"

"We all know that, Sasori my man. Hmm."

Sasori looked down at Deidara as he was done eating the mashed banana from his hand. "You can talk?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you were a brainless toddler you brat."

"So everything is the same." Said Kakuzu.

"Oooooooooooooooh. He got you Deidara. Good one Kakuzu" Said Tobi and waved his hands.

"Sip it Tobi." Deidara said.

"You sucked on my coat." Sasori said biting his teeth.

"I'm a toddler. Hmmm."

"S _a_ s _o_ r _i_." Itachi got his attention, but it sounded as two Itachi said it at the same time. "We have the same memories as before we became babies but we are still babies. We will not act like adults because we are not adults."

It looked so wrong for Itachi to have the same voice as a baby as grown up. Everyone had the same voices. "Okay, I get hat. But can you please try to behave before I trow you out."

"You will not do such thing." Konan said. "We must find out what's going on and get all of us back to normal."

Tobi tog up and started to run around. "Tobi want's to play! Tobi want's to play!"

"Tobi! Sit down before I kill you!" Ordered Sasori.

But Tobi didn't listened. Instead Hidan jumped on him and the two of them began to roll around on the floor.

"Hidan, stop it. Tobi-" Sasori began to say until he heard.

" **Still hungry…** " Zetsu said as he approached Kisame.

"I'm not suchi!" Kisame yelled as he ran away with Zetsu after him.

"Zetsu!"

Deidara began to cry, Konan and Nagato were gone. Itachi and Kakuzu were the only one left in the circle. Sasori sighed and handed Deidara to Itachi. "Look after him." He said as he ran after Kisame and Zetsu.

" _Sasori._ "He heard Deidara say. But he was crying? How could he have said his name?

He ignored it for the moment and found Kisame clinging to the pilar of a lamp while Zetsu tried to bite it of. Sasori lifted Zetsu in his tiny Akatsuki coat. "Didn't I tell you **not** to eat him?"

"Sorry."

"Kisame, get down from there." He said as he went back to the living room.

Kakuzu was gone and the only one left was Itachi holding his fingers in his ears to block out Deidara's crying. Now Tobi cried on the floor as Hidan was sitting on him. Sasori just stood in the opening and stared. Then he turned around and went to his room. Zestu still hanging in his coat.

When he exited his room he had Zetsu on a leash and pacifiers made out of wood in his pockets. The first thing he did was to put a pacifier in every mouth that Deidara had. That made him stop crying and Itachi sighed in relief. Then Sasori kicked away Hidan, shot up Tobi's mask just to the mouth and putted in a pacifier. When Hidan started to cry he'd put a pacifier in his mouth as well.

" _Sasori._ "

He looked back at Zetsu who were mad at him for making him have a leash. But it seemed he hadn't said anything. Weird, he could swear that white Zetsu had just said his name.

"What is it Sasori?" He asked him as he looked up.

"Did you say my name a few seconds ago?"

" **Nope**."

He found Konan and Nagato in her room folding and coloring paper. They seemed to behave and be calm so he let them be. As he left Konan's room he stopped which made Zetsu walk into him.

"What is it Sasori?"

Sasori had forgot about Pain. Was he a baby or was he an adult? He would go as praying to Jashin that he was an adult. When he found Pein's room he walked in. "Hello? Pein?"

"Looks like Pein isn't here. **Let's go**."

Sasori didn't turn back. Instead he went further in Pein's room and found him laying on the bed as a grown up. "Wake up Pain." Sasori shook him and trying to wake him up.

But he didn't move. He was just laying there… as a corpse. Sasori pressed his finger at his throat to se if he could feel a puls. Then he remembered that he didn't feel anything an lifted up Zetsu on the bed. "Se if you can feel a puls."

Zetsu pressed his hands against his chest and shook his head.

"Zetsu." Sasori said inpatient. "Se if Pein has a puls."

"I don't want to." Zetsu went though the bed and when Sasori pulled him up with the leash he was gone. "Dam brat." He murmured to himself as he left the leaders room.

Konan and Nagato were still playing with paper. He found Kakuzu in his room counting money. Itachi was gone, no panic there, he was probably looking for a book or something. Tobi had fallen asleep on the floor and Hidan used his belly as a pillow. Deidara were asleep as well, which were good. Now, where were Kisame?

After looking for a while he found him on the bathroom in the bathtub playing in the water.

"There you are you little brat."

Kisame looked up from playing with a rubber-duck. "You were looking for me?"

"Just… stay there so I know where you are." He left to look for Zetsu.

He found Itachi in the kitchen reading the book. "Why are you reading in here?"

"It's better light in here."

Sasori lifted up Itachi and carried him to the living room and put him down on the couch and turned on the light. "Better?"

Itachi nodded and smiled. "Better."

As he walked out of the living room he heard the front door exploding and waking Deidara, Tobi and Hidan up. Sasori swore he would kill whoever it was that were attacking them. Sauske came walking with Naruto clinging to his leg. "Sauske, come back to the Hidden Leaf. I'm sure granny Tsunade will forgive you."

"I will kill Itachi!" He marched as good as he could to Sasori. "You, tell me where Itachi is and I'll let you live."

"Are you serious? Do you really think I will let you live after you storm into the heart of the Akatsuki?"

Sauske stopped waking and listened. "Do you hear that Naruto?"

"Yeah, sounds like a baby crying."

"Well no kidding. You woke them up with that explosion of yours."

Sauske and Naruto were all silence and just looked at Sasori. "What the hell is going on?" Sauske asked.

"Yeah. I thought we were going to be attacked by every member of the Akatsuki." Naruto said. Still clinging to Sauske's leg.

Sasori wanted to kill them, but he had to make Hidan, Tobi and Deidara stop crying. So without saying anything he left the two brats and went to the living room. Naruto and Sauske following him.

"What the hell is going on?" Said Naruto.

"You idiot, they all have been turned into babies except for Sasori."

"Huh?"

Sigh. Why did they have to come now? Of all times why did they attack not?

He lifted up Deidara and rocked him. "If you are going to stand there you can might as well do something."

Without questioning, both Sauske and Naruto picked up a child and trying to comfort them. Sauske trying to comfort Hidan and Naruto trying to comfort Tobi. "What the hell happened here?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know. I walk into Zetsu's garden and the next thing I know is that…" He got silence and just stared into the open space.

"Sasori?"

Sasori ran towards Zetsu's garden. Naruto and Sauske following with he babies in there arms. He looked for the turquoise lily and stopped when he found it.

" _Sasori_." He looked back and saw the two brats running towards him. None of them had said anything.

"I am starting to loose my mind." He said to himself.

"What was that?" Naruto asked. "What did you say?"

"Nothing that concerns you brats."

"Okey, then can you tell us what we are doing here?"

"I don't know how but this flower might have casted a genjustu on me. Now that I think about it sounds ridiculous." He left the garden with Naruto and Sauske after him.

"I'm hungry." Deidara said and looked up at Sasori.

"Shut up."

"Naw. Don't be mean to him, he is just a baby." Naruto handen him Tobi and made a handsign. "Sexy no justsu!"

Naruto took Deidara from Sasori's arms before Sasori turned around and walked away. Nooooooooooooooo. This wasn't happening.

"That's pretty clever Naruto." He heard Sauske say behind him.

This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. He punched himself so had he could in the face. Tobi was still a baby in his arms and he could hear as Naruto fed Deidara.

"Sasori, are you okay?" Tobi asked in his arms.

"This can't be happening."

" _Sasori_."

"What can't be happening?"

Where did that voice come from? It sounded like Itachi.

" _Sasori. Hmm._ "

"Sasori?"

" _Sasori_."

"Are you okay Sasori?"

" _Sasori, wake up, hmm._ "

Sasori opened his eyes and saw Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Hidan looking down at him. All of a suddenly he was on the couch in the living room. Everyone were adults. Thank god.

"Se, told you he wasn't dead, hmm." Deidara said to Hidan.

"Yeah, yeah." Hidan paid Deidara and left revealing that Zetsu was standing behind Hidan.

Sasori sat up. "What the hell happened?"

"You fell asleep in my garden. **It was tempting to eat you**."

"Fell asleep? Me? I haven't slept since I made myself a puppet."

"You were under a sleeping flower."

"Sleeping flower? That red bluebell was a sleeping flower?"

"Yes. **All of the flowers in our garden is normal flowers**. Just a little bigger."

"No kidding. I was almost eaten by a carnivorous plant when me and Itachi were getting you out. Hmm."

"Looked like you were having a nightmare by the way you were twisting your head in your sleep." Kisame said with a smile on his stupid face.

"Are you okay Sasori?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Your frist dream in years. How was it? Hmm."

"I don't want to talk about it."


End file.
